An average episode of Sex and the City would have lots of sex scenes. For example, there’s Carrie’s “sex tape.” And there’s also the “Bondage bunnies” scene. You get the idea.
Sex and the City were a show that presented the idea that every woman can be an object of sexual pleasure. Carrie was very much the celebrity sex doll that we all fantasized about as young girls. (The constant references to sex appeal always amused me, because it’s hard for me to imagine a sexier girl than Carrie Bradshaw!) If Sex and the City were real, Carrie would have become the most famous female porn star in the world.
But, even if it were true, does it really matter if we were watching some more sex? We still wanted Carrie and her adventures with hubby. It’s probably because she was so into sex that she never had any real relationships in real life. And that’s part of the problem with Sex and the City.
We know that Sex and the City were a show about sex. We know that sex and sexuality and desire are a major theme. We know that sex is part of the American dream. We don’t want to take the Sex and the City out of our dreams!
But, then, if Sex and the City is a show about sex, isn’t it the case that every woman is a sex object? How do we overcome the sexism that seems to permeate all aspects of society, including relationships? Doesn’t it make sense that a women-centered society has more sex than a male-centered one? Isn’t it the case that the female perspective on sex is important to the female mind?
Maybe the key to a successful relationship between a man and a woman is the realization that all women are at least interested in sex. Maybe, in fact, sex is a universal human need. In that case, maybe a relationship should involve the two people trying to find each other’s inner sexual desires, in order to create a fulfilling relationship. That might not be something to aspire to, but it is certainly better than putting up a wall around the relationship or trying to conceal your desires.
Sex isn’t something to be hidden, or avoided. It’s something to be accepted, loved, and treated with respect. That’s what the Sex and the City movies did, but then, they turned the misogyny on its head, by allowing the “good guys” to indulge their sexuality.
Sex and the City changed my view of the relationships that I’ve been in. When I watch Sex and the City, I see the virtue in staying true to your heart, and loving your partner and your child. And I see sex as just a necessary tool to create lasting relationships.
